My weight loss journey

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

Saturday, March 6, 2010

I'm really scared.

I started bleeding Friday morning.  It was a very bright red gush.  It wasn't a lot, it wasn't as heavy as a period, but it was enough to make me call the doctor.  They told me to go to the ER.  So I did.  The ER sent me to L&D.  I had a blood test done.  My hcg came back as 991.  I thought that was good for 4w3d.  But the midwife kept saying since I was 6w along, I should of had an hcg over 1000.  I tried to explain that I was only 4w3d because I ovulated on February 16th.  She kept saying, "Yeah, you have to add two weeks to that for the proper timing."  I'm not a moron, 2/16 was 2w3d from the day I went to the hospital.  So I don't know.  Either way, she has me coming back to the hospital tomorrow and getting another blood test done.  I have to call tomorrow night for my results.

I'm scared and nervous.  I've been having some more spotting, mostly really dark brown.  I've had some cramping, but I could tell it isn't like AF cramps, it's because I'm constipated.  I bled a little more than spotting earlier when I had a bowel movement.  But I haven't had any cramps since the bowel movement.  From everything I've read, if I were having a miscarriage, I'd know.  The cramps are extreme, there's a lot of bleeding (more than a pad in an hour).  I haven't had anything like that.  But it doesn't mean I won't.  That's what is scaring me the most.  I've also read that if I was having a miscarriage, my pregnancy symptoms would stop almost immediately.  So I'm still bloated, my boobs are still sore to the touch, but not all the time.  I am concerned about this, but at the same time, it's been like this the whole time.  My chest is sore, but not all the time.  It comes and goes.  Same with the bloating and cramps I was having.  I'm just hoping all is good tomorrow with my tests.  I need my hcg to be about 2000 according to the midwife.  I'm hoping whichever midwife I talk to tomorrow to get my results will listen to me about how I'm only 4w5d now, not 6w along.  Considering that the hcg doubles every two days or so up until 6 weeks, I'm hoping it's more than 2k.  I've been trying so hard not to worry and not to stress, because I know it isn't good for me or baby, if it's still there.  Also I know the more I stress, the more Hubby stresses.  He's worried and I know it.  He doesn't handle this kind of stress too well.  He does when the event is happening, but there is usually an aftermath where he needs to just let it all out.  So bless him because he's being strong for me now, but if it's bad news we get tomorrow, I'm really scared how it'll affect both of us.  I guess everyone who goes through something like this feels that way though.  It's some of your worst fears being realized, and you're just hoping it stops before the worst happens.  But if it does, I guess we'll just try again.  Not much else to do.  It's not like I could have done anything different to prevent what is happening.  I keep telling myself that, but it doesn't make me feel any better.

No comments:

Post a Comment