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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

All I have to do is make it to Friday Morning

I have decided I'm not testing until Friday morning at the earliest. I made a mistake in the last post, I'll be 11dpo, not 12. Not that big of a difference if you ask me. So Friday morning I'm going to take a test, but only if my temps go back up. At 4dpo, my temps went down, then way back up on 6dpo, and I was a little excited, then they just tanked again at 7dpo. And they've only gone down since. So I'm not really optimistic for this cycle. I say that every cycle. But I'm really not testing Friday morning if my temps don't go up. I feel weird. I'm not moody like I have been the last two cycles. Usually by now I have cramps too. But not this time. I'm kinda hoping my cycles are getting better. I ovulated on CD 19 this time, which is just amazing to me. The last time I ovulated that early was Oct 2009.

I'm actually scared to tell Hubby if we are pregnant. I almost don't want to tell him until after I'm 8 weeks. How horrible is that? And it's not because I think he'll be mad or anything. I know he'll be ecstatic. I just don't want to put him through the heartache if I have another m/c. I feel like I can't stop myself from knowing and dealing with it, but I can stop him from having to deal. I'm going to tell him obviously. It's just a thought that had actually crossed my mind a few times this week. Or maybe even don't tell him until after my first appt. I'm supposed to call my midwife immediately if I get a +HPT. Even though my last pregnancy was a blighted ovum, they don't want to take the chance that I have a progesterone deficiency or anything.

On the upside, Hubby got the transfer to the other department with the better schedule, and he was told this morning he starts on Monday! I'm so happy. I'm really hoping this means we get to see each other a little more. It's going to be hard on the days when we're both working, because he'll leave for work about an hour before I get off, then he'll be back bright and early, while I'm still sleeping. But it does mean that every two or three days, we get to spend 2 or 3 days together. So that is the definite bonus.

I'm trying to get our bedroom painted this weekend as well. It's this really cute color of purple/lavender right now, and it doesn't look like a grown-ups bedroom at all. So I'm going to paint it a dusty/grayish/blue color. I'm hoping it looks good. Is it bad I haven't bought the paint yet for one reason? If I'm pregnant I have to get the no VOC paint... LOL. It's so horrible. On a serious note, I do hate how for the last year+ my life has revolved completely around my cycles, if I could be pregnant, and waiting to find out. Like I've gone to weddings and haven't drank, I've not painted a room because I had to wait a few more days to see if I was pregnant... I'm just tired of it. I'm almost to the point of telling Hubby I'm done trying for a few months. Like going back to using condoms and really preventing pregnancy. With how prevalent infertility seems to be, I'm surprised there aren't more options available. Don't get me wrong, they've made huge strides with clomid, IVF, IUI, etc. But you mean to tell me the best and only way to confirm ovulation is by peeing on a stick or taking your temperature every morning? Really? We can put men on the moon but we can't come up with something a little less demoralizing for women to do to get pregnant?

Our neighborhood is having a yard sale this weekend. I went through all our stuff in the basement that we haven't unpacked since the move and have decided that almost all of it is going! So tomorrow I have to run to the store to get some price stickers for everything. Then Friday night I get to price everything. I'm hoping Hubby helps me out with some of it, even though he swears he won't. He doesn't want any part of it. Usually he says that but then he ends up helping. :)

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