My weight loss journey

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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Ambiguity

So I woke up this morning and took a cheapie internet test that I had.  I was staring at it about a minute into it, and figured I saw a faint line, but it was my imagination.  Like I just wanted to see it so bad that I was tricking myself into thinking it was there.  Something made me stop though.  I held onto it, and looked at it in the natural light.  I saw a line.  A very thin, faint pinkish-purple line.  I want to be excited, but I'm scared at the same time.  Could it be an evap line? I thought those only happened after the test dries... Then I was thinking my mind was playing tricks on me again.  But the long I let it sit, the darker it got... still faint, but more noticeable.  So I waited a while... contemplated more... got absolutely nothing done at work this morning because of this... When I woke Hubby up just a little while ago, I let him in on the conundrum.  He just said not to stress, call the doc and get a blood test.  So that's what I did.  I have to go later today for a blood test, then go back again on Friday so they'll have something to compare.  But I should get some news at some point tomorrow with whether or not there was any hcg in my test. So I guess that's better than nothing. 

The reason I'm not bouncy off the walls excited, is because I'm also spotting/bleeding.  So I just keep thinking if I am pregnant, I'm having flashbacks to 6 months ago when I found out I was pregnant, then bled, then m/c.  So now we wait.  I should have some results of the blood test tomorrow, so I'll post again then.  I have one more Internet test upstairs, who knows... if I feel like it tomorrow morning, I may just take it too.  Just to be compulsively masochistic, like usual when it comes to TTC....

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