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Friday, September 3, 2010

What I think is 3DPO and heartbreak

So I mentioned this before, my father had pancreatic cancer last year.  He had a whipple procedure, chemo and radiation, and they told us it was all gone.  He found out the other day that that doctors think it's back.  I feel like someone has ripped out my heart, or that I've been hit by a truck.  They did some tests, and he's supposed to find out on Tuesday.  I'm really praying that it's negative.  After talking to him on the phone the other day, it sounds like he isn't going to try to go through with treatment again... Like he's given up already.  I have been crying for the past two days. 

After all that... I think I'm 3dpo.  I got a pretty damn close to positive test, if not positive, on Aug 31st, then a completely negative test, like just about no line at all.  So I'm going to say that I O'd on Tuesday.  I've been feeling so much like hell with everything else going on, that I don't even care to be honest.  I just feel like I'm going to lose my mind.  I can't lose my Dad.  I can't even fathom it. 

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