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Saturday, November 20, 2010

Bad week

As far as I know, everything is ok with the pregnancy. 

The thing that made this week bad, my dad went into the hospital on Tuesday.  He was vomitting and really dehydrated.  If you haven't read all my posts, my dad has end stange Pancreatic Cancer.  After about 24-36 hours of worrying and we got the results of his CT scan.  His liver is failing.  The cancer has progressed and because his liver is failing, they can't do chemo anymore.  So there is nothing more we can do but make him comfortable.  We had a hospice nurse come and talk with us.  I broke down crying and told my parents that I was pregnant.  They were both really happy.  But you could see it in my Dad's face after a minute that he realized he may not be here to see his grandbaby. 

But on the good side, he's coming home today.  I can't seem to stop crying.  It takes almost all my energy to keep my mind off of what's going on.  And now my pregnancy is completely bittersweet.  I'm so happy that I'm pregnant and we're starting our family.  But I really didn't want to have to tell my child about their grandfather.  I grew up that way, and I feel like I missed out knowing a wonderful man.  I know if my child doesn't get to meet my dad and remember him, they'll be robbed of the opportunity to know one of the most amazing men I've ever had in my life.

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