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Saturday, December 18, 2010

Wow, possibly the hardest two weeks of my life...

So as some of you know, I posted that my dad passed away last Wednesday.  Being pregnant and dealing with that was harder than I could have every imagined.  I mean, dealing with losing a family member is hard enough, but knowing how much my dad wanted a grandbaby, and how happy he would have been to be here to see it.... Then add morning sickness, fatigue, hormones and trying to hide all this from my family and be strong for them, I really don't know how I made it through.  On Friday we got good news, as I said in the last post, we saw and heard our little one's heartbeat.  The tech told us everything looked good.  So that was awesome.  Monday was the viewing and funeral.  That was really hard.... I think the last count my mom had from the guest book thing, was about 260 people showed up.  It was absolutely amazing and humbling to know my dad touched so many lives.  Today though, had to be the hardest day of my life so far.  My dad was cremated, so we didn't have an internment after the services.  We did that today.  Realizing all that was left of my Dad was in a small box that we were burying, was almost too much.  But I made it through.  I don't know... even seeing him in the casket at the funeral, I was ok... but today was just such finality or something... I can't really explain it, but I think everyone will know what I mean. 

And now onto my issues that seem so trivia now compared to what I've gone through this week.  I had to start using vaginal suppositories on Monday.  They are horrible... I have to use 2 a day, one when I get up in the morning and one before bed.  They suck... big time.... So much discharge! I literally feel like someone has installed a faucet in my vagina and turned it on full blast.  Ugh!  So annoying!  I'm half tempted to ask the doctor if I can just do the injections.  I don't even like needles, but I think that would be better than this!  I feel like I need to not leave the house for at least 3 hours after I use the one in the morning, then I'm uncomfortable for a few hours after I use the one at night.... So nasty! 

And now I'm so tired, that I think I may sleep until Monday morning... And at this point, that may not even be enough sleep. 

2 comments:

  1. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry about your dad passing away. it must be even harder with the holidays upon you. Big hugs.

    As for the suppositories... I was on them for ten weeks... they are worth it.... just make sure you get them up next to your cervix and the discharge won't be so bad. Wear a good pad and it'll be less annoying.

    Pamper yourself and take care... sorry things are so difficult right now

    northernmom from wte

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  2. I'm really sorry about your Dad. Any time to being going through this is hard, but as Sonya said, it has got to be harder with the holidays and being pregnant.

    I have been following your blog for a bit (from before you got pregnant) and am so happy that things are going well with your baby. I look forward to all the positive news over the next 7 months.

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