My weight loss journey

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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

So much has happened

So I've started back to school.  I started an accounting class a few weeks ago.  I have another class that starts in a few weeks too.  I'm nervous about two classes at once.  But I'm going to suck it up and get it done.  Next semester it looks like I'll actually be a full time student.  I'll be taking 4 classes.  My college offers great scheduling.  I'm going to take one class all semester like a traditional class.  Then they offer classes in blocks, or half of a semester.  So I'll be taking one in the first block and one the second block.  Then on top of that, for certain classes, they offer a super condensed course.  You go to class for 2 weekends, being in class from 5-9 on Friday night, then 9-5 Saturday and Sunday.  One of the classes I need to take is offered that way, and it seems like a class I'll be able to grasp and pick up very easily.  So 4 classes next semester.... Then most likely 2 over the summer.  I'm absolutely out of my mind.  I know this. I have to be.  But I'll be done school in about 2-3 years though, so I know it'll be worth it in the end. 

I talked with my company's HR department about possibly switching into our Finance department, but I'd have to work from headquarters (which is about a 2 hour commute from my house) and I'd have to have a degree to get into the department.  But they won't help me pay for school unless I'm in that department.  Nice little catch-22 for me.  Just solidified that I'll be looking for a new, better paying (hopefully) job once I'm done school.

And on the housing front, we're still stuck in neutral.  I am hoping I have Hubby in a position that he's willing to put some money into our house since it looks like we're going to be here for the next few years.  We have arguments every time I want to talk about it.  He keeps changing what he's saying.  It's irritating.  I'm just hoping we can do something to make the next few years livable.

And finally, on the family front.  We had/are having a problem right now.  I was having irregular bleeding, so I decided to take an ovulation test, figuring I was just ovulating.  I didn't have any ovulation tests but I had a pregnancy test.  I took it and it was positive.  So I went and bought some more tests and took another one the next morning, just to make sure.  Turns out, it was positive.  I had blood work done and it showed my HCG was 28, progesterone was .5.... And two days later, I had another test done, HCG 22 and Progesterone .7.  Of course, I was braced for the miscarriage talk.  My midwife did tell me that, but said she was concerned this pregnancy may be ectopic.  I had an ultrasound done today and the tech said she couldn't see anything abnormal.  So now I'm waiting to hear from my midwife to say what the next step is.  I'm hoping it is just more blood work to see where the HCG levels are and hopefully they've gone down to 0.  So for those of you keeping score, 2 miscarriages, 1 healthy wonderful baby boy.  I'm not going to lie, my emotions are torn and scattered.  Hubby and I are no where near wanting another child yet, but at the same time, I lost a child.  It's just hard to deal with no matter what the situation is.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

At least there's progress...

So Hubby is going to work on going back to school.  I'm hoping I can get him to apply this week, so he can get his transcripts evaluated.  Ugh, I hope I can really get him to go through with it.  If not, I need to know so I can apply to my choice of school.  One of us has to do something. 

And we had a good talk this week.  We found our dream house.  It's a home that a friend of my family is selling.  The situation is sketchy and I'm not really going to get into it, but lets just say, I think this friend may be really really motivated to sell the house, and I don't see it moving anytime soon.  But I'm going to talk to my friend and see if they'd be interested in doing a rent-to-buy contract, or just put the bug in their ear about if they want to rent it because it won't sell, to let us know.  I'm going to try to be sly about it, but I'm sure they'll see right through it.  But there's always that snowball's chance in hell. 

And we also decided that if that doesn't happen, for whatever reason, in about a year, we'll start looking for a new house and trying to find a renter for this one once we get a lead on something.  So it looks like hopefully in the next two years, we'll be out of this house one way or another.  That is all I needed for some peace of mind.  I just needed to know we had some kind of plan to get us out of our tiny house sometime soon.  I just really hope Hubby doesn't go back on this.  He tends to get cold feet when big decisions get closer to reality. 

As for family stuff, Monkey is toddling!  It's just a few steps and it's not all the time, but I got some on tape the other day.  I'm so excited.  :)  I love that he's growing up and he's soooo happy.  I really feel like I lucked out.  The only downside was his sleeping, since he was waking up every single night and wouldn't go back to sleep, but I think we may have even nipped that in the bud this week!  It felt sooo nice to sleep more than 4 hours last night.  Even though between Monkey and Hubby I was woken up about 8 times, they were short periods of awake and I was asleep by 11:30 and didn't get up until 8:30.  It was AMAZING.

Basically the other night, I went in to console Monkey like I always do, and after 2 hours, he just wouldn't let me put him down so I could go back to sleep.  I had to just put him in his crib and walk away for a few minutes.  He cried.  It felt horrible.  But once I regained composure and calmed down, because I know my being stressed wasn't helping him get back to sleep, I noticed the monitor was quiet.  He had fallen back asleep!  Then last night when he got up, I told Hubby to hold off a few minutes before he went in to hold him.  Of course, Hubby didn't listen and started finding a shirt to put on so he could go hold him.  By the time he got a shirt and started to walk over there, Monkey had put himself back to sleep.  From then on, each time Monkey woke up, I waited a few minutes and he'd find his pacifier and put himself back out!  It felt soooo good to know he was ok and could put himself back to sleep!  I'm hoping it only gets better from here on out!

Monkey's birthday is coming up in a week.  Literally a week from tomorrow my little man will be a whole year old.  I have a lot I want to do for his party, and I really need to get cracking.  I saw a banner where you take pictures of the baby at each month from birth to 11 months and make a timeline.  I'm really excited to try that.  I just need to get through my pictures and print them.  Then we're doing a puppy dog theme.  So I'm going to do People Puppy Chow.  It's a chex mix that has chocolate and peanut butter coating then powdered sugar.  It's soooo good.   I was going to make paw print chocolate lollipops, but I just don't think I'm going to have the time.  No biggie.  Then I need to take Monkey to get pictures taken.  I have a coupon for the portrait studio in the mall.  It's really cheap and I'm just going to get a bunch of wallets made up to give out to family.  We actually have two parties, a BBQ here on Friday night for some of our close friends down here, then a bigger family party at my mom's on Saturday. 

And we are about 2 weeks away from vacation!  I cannot wait!  It has been 3 years since I've been on vacation.  It's been way way way too long.  I'm a little nervous about how Monkey will do at the beach, but I'm probably just worrying for nothing.  If he doesn't like the beach, the house we're staying at has a pool, so we can still get in there with him. 

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Burns me to no end...

So as I mentioned in my last post, I have been trying to figure out some way that Hubby and I can get out of our current mortgage, credit unscathed.  I've decided it's not going to happen.  If we don't want our credit to take a hit, our only options are to stay here and continue paying our mortgage as is, or rent our house out. 

We recently submitted a refinance application, thanks to the FHA Streamline refinance we can do this even though we're underwater.  I'm still waiting to hear back on it.  While it's going to lower our payments by a couple hundred dollars a month, it's still no consolation for the fact that we're about 25% underwater, and we're down in value by 30% since we bought the house just 4 years ago.  We had debated about just paying our same payment as we do now, basically making an extra couple hundred dollar payment each month and watching our principal go down.  But then I did the math and if the market doesn't drop any further (which I'm really thinking we're not at the bottom of this crap market yet), it would take almost 5 years of extra payments to make up the difference.  That's 5 more years of sinking money into this house that is too small for us right now, 5 more years of not having another child, and 5 more years of arguments over how to handle our situation. 

If we decide to rent our house out, our situation doesn't look a whole lot better than staying here in the short term.  But long term, it could pay off if we find quality tenants.  But the mortgage lenders will see this as a liability until we have stable rent coming in for 2 years.  And even then, the liability is still there, they just discount it by 70%.  Which is a great number, but that's the whole, stinks in the short term part.  We'd have to rent, or buy a house for the same price we paid for this one.  In our target area, we're not talking about a much bigger house or much bigger land, unless we settle for a house that is beyond a "fixer-upper."  And it's been proven with this house that Hubby has no desire to take on any serious renovation AT ALL, so there will be no fixer-uppers in our future, unless I find a best friend who is a contractor and willing to work for free. 

The part that really eats at me is, we would qualify for a loan for our dream home if we didn't have this mortgage.  If we could get out from under this with our credit intact, we could actually qualify for our dream home with no problems.  And it would only take us maybe a year or two to get the downpayment together, if we didn't have our mortgage.  Shoot, even say we keep our mortgage, it would be 2-3 years.  At least then there would be a light at the end of the tunnel.  Right now it just feels like we're falling further and further down.

I don't understand how everyone who is doing everything wrong and making poor choices are getting assistance and those of us who made the responsible choices, and are doing the responsible thing now, are being told there's nothing they can do for us.  I'm tired of having SUCKER tattoo'd on my forehead.  I'm not talking about those who have lost their jobs because of the economy or for medical reasons and are on the brink of losing their homes.  That's who those programs are there for.  But what about the guy a few doors up from me?  He bought his house shortly before we bought ours.  He paid a little more than we did.  After 4 years, he just walked away and let the bank foreclose on his loans.  I found out the other day, he qualified for a mortgage somehow and they have a nicer, bigger house not far from here.  How?!  And why can they do it, but we can't?  I just know if I did something like that, it would all of a sudden wreck my credit for 5-8 years instead of how they claim 2-3 now. 

I'm so tired of being tired and stressed over this house.  I'm so tired of not having help nearby when I need it.  I'm tired of arguing with Hubby over this house and our situation.  There isn't anything I can do to make this better in the short term.  Any solution we have is a 3-5 year solution.  I'm not going to last that long in this house, in this situation.  Something is going to have to give, and I'm thinking it's going to have to be our credit scores.  We've worked so hard since we were 18 to build good solid credit, and now we can't even say that means anything.  It's not going to get us a better mortgage.  It's not going to get us out of debt faster.  It's not going to get us better paying jobs.  I know I'm complaining a lot about this, and I'm very happy and thankful that I have a roof over mine and my family's head, that we both have good jobs, and that we're making it without the degree of difficulty that is way too common right now.  I just wish for once in my life, doing the right thing actually got me a reward instead of someone standing there waiting to tell me that I have to just take whatever is dished out because it's the "right and responsible thing to do." 

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Wow... almost a year.  I've been so absent from my blog that it isn't funny.  So much has happened.  We dealt with going back to work (a horrible experience), getting a babysitter/nanny, firing that babysitter/nanny and hiring a new one, stopping nursing and exclusively pumping, then stopping exclusively pumping and starting formula... Crawling, now the beginnings of walking.  It's absolutely crazy.  Now this blog is going to convert more to a general my life blog.  I'll post recipes I find, crafts I do, home projects I complete... then you know, the general complaining that needs to get out about day to day life so my head doesn't explode.  :)

Right now, my focus is on losing weight, going back to school, and somehow getting out from under our mortgage. 

Losing weight, I haven't lost a pound since Monkey was born.  It's bad.  I exercised and ate decent, but it's not enough.  So now I'm using MyFitnessPal and really tracking every bite and every bit of exercise. 

Going back to school.... I recently had a bad experience with a local college.  I signed up for online courses, was waiting for financial aid and kept getting emails saying my classes would be cancelled if I didn't pay my tuition.  But every time I called in to ask about it, they told me that because I was waiting for financial aid I didn't have to worry about it, that there was a hold on my account.  After about a month of getting emails and 4 calls into the student services and financial aid offices, they dropped my classes.  I was so upset.  And after getting on teh phone with them to tell them it was their error, not mine, they told me the best I could do is re-register... but all the classes were waitlisted, so I wouldn't have gotten in anyway.  How horrible is that?  I was so mad and I felt it was such a joke with how they were running their program, that I withdrew from the college and demanded all my money back, including my application fee.  After filing a formal complaint, they agreed.  And of course, right after all of this, Hubby starts talking about going back to school.  So now I'm in limbo, because it would be much faster for him to complete his degree than for me to get a new one, and his company will pretty much pay for it all.  Mine won't pay a dime.  So I wait..... again.

Our mortgage... This is the bain of my existance right now.  We are in no means in danger of losing our house, we have the ability to pay the mortgage and taxes and such.  But at 40k underwater, I don't see the point anymore.  Our original goal was always to be in this house for 4-5 years.  We're hitting the 4 year mark and if we have to wait for the market to go back up, it's going to be another 10 years before we can leave, and that's not acceptable.  If I could convince Hubby of my standpoint, we'd strategically default.  We'd be able to recover our credit well before the market will recover and we'd make a profit on selling this house.  It's absolutely ridiculous.  And if the banks could just stick it to the taxpayers and leave us footing the bill for their arogant ways, why can't I tell them to shove it by not paying my bills?  Why is it ok for them to run around screwing people over in the name of "what's profitable" and I'm expected to keep paying my mortgage and taking a loss on investment?  It's a two way street when you have a contract.  I've held up my end by paying my mortgage on time and doing my best to keep my property value up.  My house is well kept, my yard is well kept.  So why haven't the banks kept up their end of this deal by flooding the market with foreclosures instead of helping people stay in their homes?  And why price them soooo low to drive down everyone else's property values.  This whole situation we're in right now, is the Big Banks faults. 

More to come later.  I'm going to try to start blogging weekly at least.  It feels good to just write down what's going on and get out some of these thoughts running through my head constantly.  :)